Matt Mings on A Lenten Confession: The Antonym of Me
This is the first Lenten season I’ve been unable to take large chunks of time for prayer and reflection. Having been in “professional ministry” (whatever that is) for the last many years, I was able to take half-days and whole days for reflection, silence, and meditation.
During previous Lents, I have been able to move beyond repentence to cherishing the simple truth of God’s presence. This year, however, I have stayed in confession mode … and I haven’t tried to move beyond it. But this has been ok.
As broken as I know I am — as flawed, as helpless, as ineffective, as uninspired, as sinful, as ugly, as so much the antithesis of Jesus of Nazareth –, I have not been entirely crushed and dejected.
Oddly, I have gained more peace knowing that I am but a poor sinner.
Why? Perhaps this is because I know I can’t go lower. But in fact, I can; and I have. Perhaps this is due to my complete dependence on grace. But in fact, I know grace without reponse is no grace at all.
No. It seems I have peace because I am basking in the reality that God is the antonym of me. Knowing who and what defines all that I am not, brings a calmness to my search for identity. Consequently, I can fully acknowledge who and what I am without fear … for I know what I am being shaped into.
My telos is not mine alone. I am part of all the creation that is being reconciled. While at peace with what I am, I can live peacefully as I move, ever so slowly, toward that which I will be.
So, my Lenten confession: I am the chiefest of all sinners and the antithesis of all that is God. But this does not define me. Rather, I am defined by that which I will be; in whose image I (and you) were created; under whose will I have only begun to bend.
Clinging to the hope who is the ending of my story.
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Category: Sacramental Living | Tags: confession, hope, lent, sin Comment »